Tuesday night, I was walking down Union St. in Brooklyn, somewhere between Carroll Gardens and Red Hook. Some call it the Columbia Street Waterfront District. Anyway, I had a craving for tiny hamburgers, so I was headed towards Schnack, a little neighborhood joint that serves exactly those. Sadly, the owners must not have received their stimulus checks in time, and Schnack had folded under the great economic stress of our times.
"FOR SALE - Turn Key - Cute Joint"
I was sad but still hungry. Suddenly I'm craving French-African Cuisine, I thought. So I headed down Union St. towards Korhogo 126, a little joint that serves exactly that.
But to my dismay, Korhogo 126 was also closed.
What's going on here? Hard times for all, I guessed. Hard times for all.
The little yellow sign on the door caught my eye, though, so I looked closer.
So, did they serve you your meal then immediately put you down?
"Enjoy you Yassa, you fat miserable slob."
Ew.
I'm getting pizza, I thought.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
The Recession: Bad for Mental Hygiene? What's Mental Hygiene?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Maybe she's two.
There are at least two countries in which this is a rude gesture.
And it means something different in each place.
Poor kid.
I had a really weird nightmare.
Last night I had a dream that Zombie Josh Brolin was chasing me around the back yard of my childhood home. I had an infinitely loaded shotgun, but every time I shot him, he regenerated with Evil T-1000 liquid healing power. I ran inside but Zombie Josh Brolin kept popping up at every window of every room I entered. I couldn't kill him. I couldn't escape him.
I woke up at 5am with a deep, dull, pulsating pain in my mouth. I went into the bathroom and flossed out a fatty chunk of last night's beef cutlet dinner.
As I lay in bed again, I pondered the lessons I had learned:
1) Floss.
2) Don't run into a small house to escape a zombie attack. They know you're in there.
3) Although he was snubbed by the Academy, Josh Brolin's understated performance in No Country For Old Men will endure for years to come.
Friday, May 9, 2008
This is kinda like an ad. Sorry.
Say friend. Are the poor ergonomics of your notebook computer getting you down? Can't get your screen at eye level while keeping your hands from falling asleep?
Well have I got the product for you. Friend, the Labtec Media Wireless Desktop 800 is here to allow you to type in comfort.
Friend, I'm a writer and it's essential that I stay seated at my computer for hours on end if I ever want to get any quality writing done. But I have a laptop computer, so my seating arrangement always involved a crook in my neck or pins and needles in my palms. With the Labtec Media Wireless Desktop 800 I can lower my seat so that my eyes are at screen level, while my elbows are bent at ninety degrees and my hands comfortably typing on my lap. It's a wireless keyboard, friend, so I can roll around or even swivel in my chair, all the while typing in my blog.
And guess what. If you act now, you can get the Labtec Media Wireless Desktop 800 wireless keyboard at your neighborhood Radio Shack for $14.99, friend.
And if you tell 'em Uncky Nick sent you, you'll get a free wireless mouse with a built in roller wheel!
But wait! There's more! If you tell your Radio Shack representative that you think this is probably a crappy keyboard so you'll go ahead and buy the service plan, you'll get the Radio Shack Service Plan for only $3 more! But don't worry, friend. This keyboard is not crappy!
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Order today and you'll get four brand new AA batteries to make your Labtec Media Wireless Desktop 800 really purr!
******
But for seriously, y'all, I'm loving this keyboard. I can finally sit and write in comfort. So look for more long posts from yours truly. And maybe I'll finally get back to that novel.
